Queen ‘can veto Prime Ministerial urination’

THE Queen’s powers include the right to veto the prime minister’s toilet habits, it has emerged.

The Queen still decides whether presidents are sufficiently handsome

The Queen still decides whether presidents are sufficiently handsome

Declassified papers have revealed the surprising extent of the monarch’s powers which include total control over David Cameron’s bladder.

In accordance with a piece of legislation first drafted in 1593, should the Prime Minister wish to urinate, he must first report to Buckingham Palace to obtain written permission, by Royal Seal, from Her Majesty.

If The Queen is busy at her bureau or receiving foreign dignitaries, the prime minister will have to wait outside.

When eventually he receives permission, he must urinate, or if he so requires, defecate into a special urn outside the Queen’s chambers, under the supervision of an equerry.

Royal biographer Roy Hobbs said: “As she ages and becomes more crotchety, there is increased evidence of the Queen exercising ancient powers against things that antagonise her.

“Using laws introduced during the rule of Henry II, she has banned visitors to royal parks from wearing t-shirts over long-sleeved shirts. Those contravening the rule face two hours in specially erected stocks.

“Over the coming year we can expect to see bans on suit jacket and jeans combinations, inspirational Facebook memes, adults watching Dr Who, and Prince Charles.

“Also, in keeping with an edict inscribed by Edward The Confessor himself, ‘sundry twattes of all measure’.”