Queen To Put Balls In Her Mouth For First Time Since 1957

THE Queen is to put some balls in her mouth for the first time in more than 50 years, Buckingham Palace has confirmed.

Finally some balls

The sovereign will end her five decade moratorium at Windsor Castle tonight, during a private dinner party to mark the start of Royal Ascot.

A Palace spokesman said: “The absence of balls from the Queen’s mouth was very much a practical measure. But of course now she can take her teeth out.

“Tonight’s occasion will allow Her Majesty to fill her mouth with balls in an intimate setting surrounded by 26 of her closest friends.”

Royal historian, Denys Finch-Hatton, said: “The last time the Queen put balls in her mouth was on Boxing Day at Sandringham in 1957.

“An ailing Sir Winston Churchill had joined the Royal Family for Christmas that year and was of course delighted to see the young Queen’s mouth filled with balls.”

He added: “But sadly it was to be the last time. Soon after the Queen met with the Privy Council and asked whether she could continue to fulfil her constitutional duties and put balls in her mouth on a regular basis.

“Sir Winston urged her to press ahead but ultimately it was felt that for the sake of the Commonwealth the young monarch should maintain a good set of natural teeth and so she had to accept that being Queen was simply not compatible with filling your mouth with balls every Saturday night.

“Now that her schedule is less frenetic, her teeth are gone and her mouth is a lot wider, she can finally rediscover one of the great passions of her youth.”

He added: “Despite Her Majesty’s typically admirable self-denial, she has been able to pass on a love of having balls in your mouth to her children.

“Particularly Prince Edward.”