Russell Brand admits sex with Chris Evans
RUSSELL Brand realised he was addicted to celebrity sex after a passionate one-night stand with Chris Evans, it has emerged.
The Dickensian-Tantric comedian seduced wacky, bespectacled coppertop Evans after a boozy night at the Met Bar.
Brand said: “Waking up with Chris’s bifocals beside the bed and ginger hairs in my teeth was a particular low point.
“Sex with celebrities is an addiction like alcohol or heroin, after a while it doesn’t matter whether the celebrity is any attractive member of the opposite sex, or a flame-headed middle-aged man.
“I should have realized things were getting out of control when I saw James Corden backstage at Comic Relief and thought ‘Cor….I wouldn’t mind a go on that’.”
“I was on a dark path towards a threesome with David Dimbleby and Esther Rantzen.”
Brand described how his fixation with celebrity sex led to bad decisions, including his failed marriage to Katy Perry and a doomed tryst with Fred Dibnah in 2003.
Brand said: “Frankly, any form of celebrity would do. I’m pretty sure I once shagged someone because she was related to the bloke who invented the Lancaster bomber.
“Now I just want to beat this addiction, but I think I can do it with professional help and the support of my fans, who I will then be able to shag even though they’re not famous.”
Brand will now begin several weeks of intensive therapy, during which he will be kept in a Hannibal Lecter-style sex-proof cage in case any other celebrities check into the clinic.