Russell Brand admits sex with Chris Evans

29-08-12

RUSSELL Brand realised he was addicted to celebrity sex after a passionate one-night stand with Chris Evans, it has emerged.

Brand previously overcame an addiction to calling himself 'Russ' in the third person

The Dickensian-Tantric comedian seduced wacky, bespectacled coppertop Evans after a boozy night at the Met Bar.

Brand said: “Waking up with Chris’s bifocals beside the bed and ginger hairs in my teeth was a particular low point.

“Sex with celebrities is an addiction like alcohol or heroin, after a while it doesn’t matter whether the celebrity is any attractive member of the opposite sex, or a flame-headed middle-aged man.

“I should have realized things were getting out of control when I saw James Corden backstage at Comic Relief and thought ‘Cor….I wouldn’t mind a go on that’.”

“I was on a dark path towards a threesome with David Dimbleby and Esther Rantzen.”

Brand described how his fixation with celebrity sex led to bad decisions, including his failed marriage to Katy Perry and a doomed tryst with Fred Dibnah in 2003.

Brand said: “Frankly, any form of celebrity would do. I’m pretty sure I once shagged someone because she was related to the bloke who invented the Lancaster bomber.

“Now I just want to beat this addiction, but I think I can do it with professional help and the support of my fans, who I will then be able to shag even though they’re not famous.”

Brand will now begin several weeks of intensive therapy, during which he will be kept in a Hannibal Lecter-style sex-proof cage in case any other celebrities check into the clinic.

 

 

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