Sonic the Hedgehog mortified as co-workers discover his past

17-06-16

No Merchandising. Editorial Use Only. No Book Cover Usage. Mandatory Credit: Photo by Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock (1617036a) Sonic The Hedgehog Film and Television

THE moment Sonic The Hedgehog has dreaded finally came yesterday when office colleagues discovered who he used to be. 

Now a senior digital media analyst, the 45-year-old arrived at his London workplace to find a picture of his younger days in the Green Hills Zone on his monitor.

He said: “It was bound to come out eventually, I suppose.

“I mean I’ve changed, physically – the spikes are shorter, I’m more of a dark sapphire than a cobalt blue now, and I’ve put on 12 stone – but it’s still unmistakably me.

“It was the 90s, it was a crazy time, I was taking home literally hundreds of gold rings for a few minutes’ work and don’t talk to me about the chaos emeralds, but that was a long time ago.

“We all have a past, but that’s not who I am any more. Now can we please get back to work?”

Sonic added: “I’m just glad that I’ve been able to move on.

“I bumped into Crash Bandicoot the other day, outside Wood Green tube station, still babbling about breaking back into the business.

“Yeesh.”

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