Cat goes outside to commit atrocities

11-04-18

AN ADORABLE cat turns into a sadistic psychopath the second she leaves the house, it has been revealed.

Two-year-old Lemon is highly regarded amongst her human family for her adorable miaow, cartoonish features and penchant for belly rubs. Outside, however, Lemon’s reputation is significantly less glowing.

Local mouse Wayne Hayes said: “Lemon brutally killed my entire family. I’m the only one left.

“I’ve been trying to get my life back on track, but I live in constant fear that she’ll come to finish me off. Last week, she killed a pigeon and then left its head outside my den. I think it was a warning.

“Just when I thought the nightmares had stopped.”

Lemon’s owner Nikki Hollis,said: “She doesn’t mean it, it’s just instinct, isn’t it, precious? Who’s a fearsome hunter? You are. Yes, YOU are.”

Lemon said: “I meant every second of it and I’d do it again.”

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