Dog carefully plans most awkward place to lie

06-01-16

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A LABRADOR is carefully plotting the sleeping spot that will cause maximum annoyance.

Doncaster-based dog Roy Hobbs had the perfect location worked out before the removal of the family Christmas tree forced him to rethink.

He said: “It is all about angles and spatial awareness. That tree created a natural chokepoint. If I got myself in there, anyone going around me would knock pine needles all over the floor or smack their shin on the coffee table.

“Now I’m leaning towards that square of carpet between the bottom of the stairs which also lets me partially block the doorway to the kitchen.

“You need to keep your concentration, then when somebody steps over you, yelp like they stamped on your ear and leap to your feet. If you time it right you can easily get one of them to spill a hot drink or fall over.

Hobbs added: “Humans think we are their friends, but we resent their patronising behaviour and seek to injure them.”

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