Dozens killed in beaver/otter turf war

25-03-15

beavott

VIOLENCE between beaver and otter gangs is spiralling out of control.

Beavers have been reintroduced to river environments, prompting a deadly backlash from heavily armed otters.

Naturalist Emma Bradford said: “We knew the otters were violent but did not anticipate that the beavers had their own gangs like Dam U 2 Hell Crew, Beevs and Buck Tooth Massive.

“The otters had been moving a lot of crack and meth up and down the River Frome, but the beavers built dams in key areas and demanded a ‘tax’ to let them through.”

Gunplay ensued, with nine voles, a moorhen and an environmentalist doing a study on breeding patterns among those caught in the crossfire.

Bradford added: “I would stay away from the riverbanks even if you really want a picnic.”

However beaver M-Phibious said: “We got nothing but love. Just chewing some logs, that’s all.

“But if otters come to us then shit could get really real.”

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