ESSEX is to be turned into a gigantic sewage outflow for the city of London.
Work has begun on making the entire county concave and residents have been asked to keep their front and back doors open to allow the sewage to flow through freely.
A Thames Water spokesman said: “When people think of Chelmsford or Basildon they already feel waves of nausea and disgust.”
But businesses have warned the project will hit two of the county’s key industries as nobody will need fake tan or white clothes when up to their necks in effluent.
