Scotland to experience first-ever bout of bad weather


SCOTLAND is preparing to experience bad weather for the first time in its history.

The tropical paradise, whose name means ‘Sunny Place’ in Ancient Greek, is to be hit by an arctic blast later this week which could bring snow and other previously-unseen hostile weather conditions.

First minister Nicola Sturgeon said: “For centuries our country has been a haven of cloudless blue skies and unbroken sunshine, where peace-loving locals sit gazing over flawless beach sunsets and sipping from local coconuts.

“Finally, it seems, that bliss is to be shattered. Things called ‘snow’, ‘rain’ and ‘wind’, previously unknown to us, will  sweep our utopian land.

“It is possible we may even require waterproof outer garments known as ‘coats’.”

Glasgow resident Nathan Muir said: “I’ve never seen a cloud. What does it look like?

“I worry that these new types of unpleasant weather may have some effect on the national psyche, changing us from upbeat and easy-going to somewhat maudlin and prone to conflict.”

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