Snowfall in unimportant 70 per cent of country may hit London, forecasters warn


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THE SNOW which has covered Scotland, Wales, the North and the Midlands could affect parts of Britain that matter, forecasters have warned.

Snow, which has paralysed whatever passes for cities in what is technically the UK, could soon be landing on the cars and homes of people earning at least six figures.

Julian Cook of Richmond said: “You see it on the news in these faraway places like Coventry but you never dream it could happen to you.

“We’re talking third-world conditions with impassable roads, the Little Waitrose closed, and flourless chocolate cake off the menu at your local gastropub.

“It’s alright for them up there. They’ve been dealing with these kind of deprivations for years. But for the nation’s capital, hard at its vital work of transactions on the international bond markets, this could spell disaster.”

Bill McKay of Stoke-on-Trent said: “We’ve been asked if we could lie in the path of the snow and melt as much of it was we can with our body heat before we expire.

“I for one will die happy if it means that Kent can be spared.”

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