UK braced for mediocre weather photography

01-02-12

SNOWY weather will result in a million of pictures of nothing much, experts have warned.

'Frosty garden' by Tom Logan

Arctic conditions across the UK are expected to drive people with too much time on their hands into a frenzy of pointless weather-based amateur photography.

But veteran life coach, Roy Hobbs, said: “Snowy things are far less of a novelty than you think they are. Stay indoors.

“You may think that lone bird on a fencepost looks exceptionally picturesque against a seasonal backdrop, but no-one else gives a tuppenny fuck.

“Your relatives might feign interest when you show off the contents of your new 1000-image strong ‘snowpics’ computer folder, but they will be bored. By the time you get to the 26th picture of the half-melted snowman, they’ll be thinking about the last time they had sex.”

He added: “There are a very limited amount of weather types – perhaps six if you include ‘cloudy’ – and they all occur fairly regularly. Consequently they are each pictorially well-documented.

“You can go balls-out crazy with your Photoshop filters, but the sharp observer will see through such tawdry gimmicks.”

Retired bank manager Tom Logan said: “I’ve developed an interest in digital photography to partially compensate for a feeling that could be described as ‘emptiness’.

“I find weather photography particularly inspiring, whether it’s snow-capped hills at dawn or artsy close-ups of parched soil.

“Well maybe inspiring is a bit strong. Semi-inspiring.”

 

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