Welsh sun-worshippers rend garments
WALES has asked for science to apologise after threats of solar storms were confirmed.
Speaking from a temple made of sticks, the Welsh elders warned of mass panic as solar flares play havoc with everyone’s haunted talking pebbles.
Druid chieftain and IT consultant Roy Hobbs said: “If we don’t start showing a bit more respect for He That Really Hurts When You Stare At Him For An Hour Or So, huge great lumps of sun will start falling all over the place.
“Unless of course these pigeon gizzards are wrong.”
Preparations for the solar storm have already begun, with every citizen issued with a pot of woad to paint their heads and a list of good places to hide.
Hobbs has called for a ‘national day of action’ to avert the greatest catastrophe to hit the country since the Big Fire of Cardiff in 1782.
He added: “We will have to catapult a virgin into the sun every 12 hours.”
Meanwhile the Welsh Institute For Thinking has demanded an apology from the Royal Astronomical Society for disrespecting their third-most revered deity, after the God of Drizzle and Huw Edwards.