Carnivores happy to try vegan recipes as long as main ingredient is a vegan

CARNIVORES have confirmed that they are willing to try any recipe that includes a vegan.

Meat eaters said they could even give up pigs, cows, chickens, ducks as long as they were still allowed to eat bits of vegans.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “People who eat meat tend not to care what type it is. Meanwhile, vegans want to stop the use of animals products and end the suffering caused by factory farming, which is very noble, but they’re going about it in the wrong way.

“All of these problems can be solved if we just feed vegans to the meat eaters and leave the animals out of it completely.”

Carnivore Martin Bishop said: “Once a vegan has been turned into chops, the meat eaters won’t notice anyway.  A shoulder of pork doesn’t look or taste much different from a shoulder of human, especially when covered in gravy.”

He added: “The only thorny issue is milk. I don’t want to drink milk that’s come from a vegan.”