Health

Street oregano being cut with other herbs

OREGANO bought on the streets is laced with other herbs that could have devastating effects on a tomato-based sauce.

Middle-class drinkers slur something about 'being able to handle it'

WEALTHY over-50s have slurred that they can look after themselves when it comes to alcohol.

Nation to be weaned off Percy Pigs

MARKS & Spencer is set to replace Percy Pigs with methadone at its tills.

Pregnant women only doing it for the ‘hippy crack’

WOMEN are getting pregnant just so they can get high on ‘hippy crack’ from the NHS, it has emerged.

Daily Mail ready to impregnate you

THE DAILY Mail has assured its female readers that it will make them pregnant if they are still childless by 35.

Do not photograph more than four eggs per day, say experts

TAKING Instagram egg photos can trigger insanity, it has emerged.

Jail term for spinning really fast on office chair

PEOPLE who use a swivel chair to make themselves dizzy face up to three years in prison.

That’s how teeth are supposed to look, says Britain

BRITAIN’S teeth are imperfect because they haven’t had lots of weird expensive shit done to them, it has emerged.