Health

A & E now just a website

ACCIDENT and emergency services can now only be accessed via the internet, the government has announced.

Everyone at Heathrow testing positive for Ebola

NOBODY at Heathrow looks fit and well, according to doctors screening for Ebola.

Non-smokers have no way to signal that sex is over

THE decline of smoking has left many Britons unsure when sex has finished.

Daily Mail has all the properties it attributes to cannabis

THE Daily Mail and its website are addictive, paranoia-inducing and a gateway to more extreme forms of behaviour, according to experts.

Ebola to be contained within Apprentice house

IF anyone in the UK is going to get ebola it should be the contestants on BBC1’s The Apprentice, according to COBRA.

Huge success for Bring a Virus to Work Day

THE second annual Bring A Virus To Work Day has seen more than 19.5m new infections across the UK.

Ebola survivor has list of crazy diseases he wants to catch

THE British Ebola survivor is to return to Africa because he has another four insane diseases on his to-do list.

Many surgeons awake during surgery

SOME surgeons have been found to be fully conscious and responding to stimuli while performing operations.