DOCTORS will no longer see patients who arrive with a cigarette in one hand and an energy drink in the other.
A MAN has found out in the nick of time that he is chronically addicted to alcohol after doing a questionnaire on a website.
THE ancient jar of lime pickle in your fridge door must be thrown away immediately, experts have confirmed.
DRINKERS have demanded a cure for the weird and aggressive personality that seems to take over when they are extremely pissed.
A 30-YEAR-OLD man has announced that he will be getting fatter and fatter over the coming decades.
A CYCLIST has achieved a new personal best by commuting to work in a skintight lycra bodysuit that shows the exact outline of his penis.
SENIOR doctors have condemned plans for strike action by junior colleagues because it may lead to them communicating directly with patients.
A MAN has bought some sandalwood-scented joss sticks, according to concerned onlookers.