5k run adds 30 minutes to your life but takes 40 minutes

 

A FIVE kilometre run adds 30 minutes to your life but takes 40 minutes, health experts have confirmed.

After putting on running shoes, stretching and uploading all the details to multiple social media platforms are taken into account, the time taken to run five kilometres is closer to an hour.

Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “This makes the whole endeavour twice as ineffective.”

The confirmation that running is essentially futile has confirmed what everyone has been thinking.

Runner Tom Booker admitted: “I knew this shit was stupid. Every time I went running I thought about how I’d spend my extra half an hour, and then I’d get back and realise I could have just watched an episode of Luther instead.”

Professor Brubaker added: “Running is like growing your own vegetables.”