Bearded Lady Gives Birth

CIRCUSES across the world were celebrating last night after a bearded lady give birth to a baby girl.

The mother is said to be doing well

The woman and her beard gave birth naturally at the hospital in Oregon surrounded by fire-eaters, trapeze artists and a small car full of clowns.

Obstetrician, Dr Tom Logan, said: "When they brought her in, I saw the beard and assumed she was a man.

"I said to her, 'I hope you're not planning to squeeze this baby out through your penis, because that would be incredibly painful'.

"But then I lifted up her gown and saw that she had a perfectly normal vagina.

"Given that she was in the advanced stages of labour I concluded the vagina in question was almost certainly connected to a fully functioning womb.

"'Oh, you're not a man', I said, 'you're just a lady with an impressive beard and no charlies. A bit like my cousin Ethel'."

Dr Wayne Hayes, the hospital's chief of medicine, added: "We get quite a few people coming in, who are not 100% sure what sex they are. Sometimes it's a woman with a beard. Other times it's a man with great big breasts.

"It's a complex condition, so the first thing I do is ask them to drop their trousers or lift up their skirt so I can have a bit of a poke around. That usually gives us a fairly big clue."

He added: "These days a lot of people seem to think womanhood is defined by a fondness for live yoghurt and Grey's Anatomy, when actually it's about having a vagina."