Beer has well-reasoned argument for why man should drink it

12-01-16

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A BOTTLE of beer has given a surprisingly solid argument for why its owner should drink it.

31-year-old Tom Booker was almost halfway through a planned month off alcohol when a beer in his fridge started talking to him, in a sensible voice that sounded like David Dimbleby.

The beer said: “Any health benefits from a month of abstinence will be purely temporary.

“You will never give up beer entirely, you would rather die, so best to just moderate your intake over the longer term.

“Also I am just one beer, with a relatively low ABV of 4.8%. Consumed in isolation, I am less harmful than those chips you just ate.

“In summary, drink me.”

Booker said: “I always imagined that if beer started talking to me it would sound like a husky French woman. But this was more like a posh uncle who is really hard to argue with.”

However after Booker drank the beer he could still hear its voice in his head saying: “Now go to the shop and buy more beer.”

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