Bored humans running to the point of exhaustion

10-03-14

MILLIONS are running until their legs give out just for something to do.

Achieve your futile goal

Achieve your futile goal

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that people were running up to seven times a week simply because they could not think of a more productive outlet for their spare energy.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “As living standards have improved over the centuries, people find themselves with more time on their hands.

“That time could be spent writing an era-defining novel, formulating strategies for world peace or just contemplating nature on a profound level.

“Instead we’re just running, running, running. Until we can’t run any more.”

36-year-old Tom Booker said: “I know it’s utterly pointless but I’ve just got to keep running.

“Maybe one day I’ll be able to outrun the voices in my head, all those crushing doubts and memories of failure.

“These shiny new Asics shoes should help.”

Professor Brubaker believes running will eventually cause the demise of the human race.

“In several thousand years a massive asteroid will hit the Earth and humanity needs all its energy to organise a massive interplanetary migration.

“However most of that collective energy will have been wasted running from point A to point B and back to point A, for no reason, so we will all die.”

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