Chocolate ‘Stops Lazy People From Lying’

A LARGE bar of milk chocolate stops lazy people from telling lies about how exhasuted they are, new research suggests. 

Chunky, creamy an exposing your pathetic lies

A single 250g bar of Green & Blacks’ Oragnic could make chronic fatigue sufferers confess that they really weren’t that tired at all and just liked loafing around the sofa and watching television.

However, people still pretended to be ‘really quite exhausted’ when offered lower grade chocolate snacks, with most not admitting anything even if presented with a box of Maltesers, two Milky Ways, a Blue Riband and a packet of Penguins, the researchers said.

Dr Wayne Hayes, of the Dundee Medical School, said: “These people were apparently so knackered that they had to watch the Jeremy Kyle show and Richard and Judy because they were too weak to press the buttons on their remote controls.

“Some claimed to be so exhausted they could not even switch off Countdown or Paul O’Grady, but they were probably telling the truth.

“Yet when we offered them a free lifetime’s supply of luxury milk chocolate on the NHS they suddenly all said they felt very strong.

“We think that it may be that chocolate has some complex chemical effect on the truth neurons in the brain. Alternatively, it may just be that people will do anything for free chocolate, even incriminate themselves with inspectors from the dole office pretending to be researchers from a reputable university.”