Freddy Krueger targeting sleep-deprived workers

12-09-13

Heart of Summer

OVERWORKED Britons are proving a rich hunting ground for vengeful spirit Freddy Krueger.

Britain’s ‘long hours culture’ has enabled the disfigured, supernatural maniac to claim more victims by entering their dreams when they nod off at work.

Krueger said: “Terrorising knackered office workers makes a nice change from American teenagers, which is a bit of a dead end anyway because there’s always a feisty one who works out how to defeat me.

“Yesterday I murdered a data entry drone called Kevin by going into his dreams, shrinking him to tiny size, putting him in a data field in spreadsheets, and closing the file without saving.

“Tomorrow I’ve got my eye on his colleague Susan. She does a two-hour commute so I think I’ll cook her in an oven when she gets home and falls asleep in front of the Bake Off.”

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