GP prescribes ecstasy to miserable twat

15-02-12

A POST office worker from Kings Lynn has been prescribed ecstasy to stop him complaining about everything.

The bottomless pit of Wings Syndrome

Wayne Hayes, 37, reported intense feelings of annoyance on a daily basis, to the point where it was almost impossible for him to function. 

He said: “I was reading far too much Peter Hitchens and listening to Wings back then.

“It got to the point where I even accused my wife of being a Bulgarian fruit picker. I was in a very dark place.

“But then my doctor told me he was trialling a radical new treatment for the male menopause.”

Hayes’  GP, Dr Julian Cook said: “Having consumed the drug, Wayne immediately stopped getting irate about minor political issues and instead had a bit of a dance to Primal Scream.

“Once he’d got a good buzz going not even a misplaced apostrophe or transient Slav could darken his mood.”

Hayes’ wife, Barbara, said the treatment has saved their marriage, adding: “Before he’d always be too busy shouting at The One Show or thrashing the dog to notice me.

“Now he’s so much more cheerful, hugging me, making experimental smoothies and repeatedly offering to give me a head massage.”

 

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