Obese people just need cookery classes, claims patronising arsehole

15-09-17

DOCTORS have been ordered to refer obese patients to cookery classes by a horrendously patronising posh arsehole in government somewhere. 

The utter prick, who likely got his job without ever meeting an obese person or a doctor, is confident his plan will be hugely successful because he cooks and is thin and so are all his friends.

A government source said: “This is the problem with Tory governments.

“They put posh dickheads in positions of power and they actually try to do the fucking job, despite being so detached from reality they think Ginsters is a minor public school.

“I think I’ve seen this cock marching around Whitehall, munching a bowl of sesame-roasted kale with a supercilious expression on his well-bred pink idiot face.

“Does he genuinely think some fat dobber from Gateshead’s gonna have one session of pan-searing swordfish and give up the micro chips for life? What a bellend. He’ll be fired soon.”

Plan author Denys Finch-Hatton said: “Learning to cook a good, simple pheasant ragu will change their lives. It certainly changed mine.”

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