Older drinkers going to die soon anyway


DRINKERS aged over 65 have reminded the government that they are going to die quite soon whatever they do.

After health officials advised him to drink fewer pints, 78-year-old Tom Logan said: “You may have heard of something called a life span.

“As I reach the end of mine, I cannot think of any compelling reason to drink less. I know a couple of people in their nineties and trust me, being that old is absolutely terrible.

“Also what else am I going to do with my time – a free course in basic internet skills at my local library?

“Frankly I’d rather sit at this bar looking red and moody.”