So I guess we’re staying out now, says third pint

25-08-16

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A MAN’S third pint explained in a friendly but firm voice that he would now be staying out, it has emerged.

Tom Logan believed he was enjoying one or two quick drinks before heading home. However the tone of the occasion changed when a third pint appeared in front of him.

The third pint said: “Well my friend, here we are.

“Looks like you won’t be heading home before closing time, and I’d kiss goodbye to thoughts of making that lasagne – we’re looking at a doner or maybe a ‘chicken pieces times two plus chips’ meal deal.

“I believe you’ve met my friends fourth pint, and fifth pint. They’ll be along shortly.

“I think sixth pint might even put in an appearance. Remember him? He’s the one who makes the ceiling move back and forth like a menacing ocean, while you lie in bed consumed by regret.

“Anyway, better drink me up, or I’ll go flat.”

It added: “Tomorrow is going to be awful, just awful.”

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