Southern Sainsbury's has weird veg, northern man reports

05-08-17

A NORTHERN man has returned from a trip to the Cotswolds and confirmed that the Sainsbury’s there has unusual vegetables.

Stephen Malley, thought by friends to be quite the sophisticated traveller, related to a rapt pub the strange flora and fauna he encountered in the store.

He said: “I’m no yokel. I’ve visited supermarkets in upmarket areas before. I know there is more to the natural world than Asda dares believe.

“But I’ve never seen anything like this Sainsbury’s. There was veg there that I’ve only ever heard tell of in the books of Nigel Slater.

“Dhudi, or as the natives call it ‘white pumpkin’. Australian finger limes. Black figs. Samphire. Whole bins of fennel. It was like walking through a carefully branded jungle.

“These vegetables could only survive in an economic climate that supported them, among people that had made them sacred in order to make themselves posh. It was a glimpse of another world.

“Then I bought a case of Peroni and buggered off.”

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