Woman hires Mafia hitman to execute her if she doesn’t stick to diet

09-02-18

A WOMAN has ensured she will keep to her health regime by paying a hitman to shoot her if she fails to lose three stone by the end of June. 

Eleanor Shaw, from Didsbury, who has previously failed to lose weight on the Atkins diet, Weightwatchers, the Cambridge Weight Plan and a raw food regime, took the drastic step of hiring a professional killer because she has a wedding to go to.

She said: “No cheat days for me or I’m looking at the wrong end of a sniper rifle. That’ll keep me honest.

“I’ve tried the whole gym thing because £50 a month would make sure I went, but then I just stopped bothering. I did Weightwatchers because the shame of admitting I’d put weight on in front of all those women would make me lose it, but I stopped turning up.

“Well, there’s no way I can get out of this one. If I’m even one pound over then I’m in the cross hairs and bam! He’s sworn on his family’s honour. Better get on the cross-trainer!”

Friends expect Eleanor to do well up until Easter, then to abandon her diet and just act like the whole hitman thing never happened.

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