Assange to hand himself in after realising he only had Adam Sandler films left to watch

23-01-17

JULIAN Assange is to hand himself over to US officials after watching every film that doesn’t feature Adam Sandler.

Assange said that he will finally leave the Ecuadorian embassy due to a lack of tolerable film entertainment.

A source said: “He’s watched everything there is to watch. Russian pre-war cinema, Italian neo-realism and every Bollywood film ever made.

“Julian was facing an evening with Jack and Jill or I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry so he said it was time to call ‘the feds’.”

Assange later tweeted that even if the Americans give him 20 years in prison it would be a small price to pay to avoid Grown Ups 2.

The source said: “Obviously he runs the risk of getting sent to a prison where they have a weekly film night that’s just Adam Sandler films, because the warden is a sadist.”

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