Carla Bruni Breaks President Of France
FRENCH president Nicolas Sarkozy has finally been broken by his unbelievably hot wife, it has been confirmed.
Mr Sarkozy was admitted to hospital on Saturday after feeling faint at the thought of seeing the first lady in a silk nightie immediately after his daily five mile run.
An Elyseé Palace spokesman said: "The president is a man of vigour, but you can't start thinking about Carla Bruni when you're already out of breath. You may as well put a gun to your head."
Dr Pierre Dufarge, a leading cardiologist, said: "There is simply no way the human body can spend all day wrestling with domestic and international crises and then be expected not to jump all over Carla Bruni like a rabid dog, or indeed, a Frenchman.
"If she had any sense of decency or fair play she would have married a drug-addled, folk-singing hippy who is barely aware that he is even conscious."
Dr Dufarge has called for Mrs Sarkozy to be housed in a separate building behind three inches of bullet-proof glass and shown to the president for no more than 15 minutes a week.
He added: "They may be allowed physical contact during holidays, but only if there is a highly respected cardiologist in bed with them."
Dr Dufarge added: "I think he has done incredibly well to get this far. Personally I wouldn't have lasted five minutes.
"But I'll tell you what, they would have been the best five minutes of my pathetic little life."