Duuuh, Everyone Tells Jimmy Carter

EVERYONE said 'duuuh' last night after former US president Jimmy Carter accused Barack Obama's critics of racism.

Nurses Against Socialism

As Carter hit out at the right-wingers who have tried to derail Obama's healthcare reforms, millions of people shoved their tongues behind their lower lips while banging the backs of their hands together.

Tom Logan, professor of American history and politics at the London School of Economics, made a funny face and hit himself repeatedly on the head, shouting: "Ooh, look at me, I'm Jimmy Carter."

He added: "He is getting very old. Perhaps he's just woken up after a long nap."

Meanwhile Jim Bishop, a Democratic congressman from Pennsylvania, said: "I respect President Carter but I hope for his sake there's a Nobel Prize for stating the unbelievably obvious."

But anti-Obama campaigners rejected Carter's claims and insisted their protest was against socialism, before dressing up as 19th century doctors in long pointy hats and setting fire to a hospital bed on the White House lawn.

Lyle Stephenson, from Arkansas, said: "Listen here ya fancy ass Yankees, I ain't no racist and I sure done learned all about socialism after watchin' them electric pictures on the Fox News."

He added: "Socialism is an economic system brought about by them fuzzy haired folks with a fondness for fried chicken when they're not smokin' reefer cigarettes and bangin' on their bongo drums."

His friend, Billy McKay, said: "I never did trust that Jimmy Carter with his flared nostrils and his fat, rubbery lips.

"Seems to me that mibbes his great grandmomma might a lifted her petticoats for one of them big, ugly socialists."