Emergency Fried Breakfasts Dropped On Greece


AID organisations are parachuting emergency fried breakfasts into Greece after a tour operator’s collapse left thousands of Britons stranded without proper bacon.

Oi, Socrates, what the fuck do you call this?

The demise of holiday firm Goldtrail left 16,000 UK tourists stuck in Greece and Turkey with the vast majority already having had quite enough of foreign food by that point, if it’s alright with you.

Charities said the pretend breakfasts provided by the hotels consisted of little more than cereal and yoghurt served buffet-style with some funny looking bread, a slice of cheese and a selection of weirdly-flavoured jams.

Trapped tourist, Bill McKay, said: “Having already eaten the saltiest parts of my own right arm, I had been considering the nuclear option of foreign bacon.

“They call it bacon but it’s not really. I mean you can call a tiger a horse but that doesn’t mean you could safely jump on its back and ride it over a hedge.”

The emergency fried breakfasts included two rashers of smoked bacon, two eggs, beans, fried bread, mushrooms and a sausage of above-school dinner quality.

A spokesman for UK relief charity, InstaAid, said: “The operation has been a success despite one serious injury involving a Hercules transporter, a goatherd and a wayward black pudding.”

Stranded mother-of-two, Donna Sheridan, said: “These breakfasts have been a godsend. I was glad to see the sausages weren’t the really cheap ones that are slightly grey and have a sort of foreskin.

“I think next year we’ll probably just ruin other people’s holidays in the UK.”

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