Eternally optimistic Guardian reader admits Obama is dreadful

A GUARDIAN reader who has worshipped Barack Obama for five years without interruption has finally admitted he is just awful.

'He's probably not even a very nice person'

‘He’s probably not even a very nice person’

Martin Bishop, who until last week was still insisting Obama was a mixture of Martin Luther King and John F Kennedy, has now realised that America’s first black president is basically just that.

Bishop said: “I read in the Guardian this morning that he’s now saying there would be no attack on Syria if Assad gives up his chemical weapons. I just thought – ‘he’s an arse’.

“I’m not in favour of attacking Syria but couldn’t he have said that right at the start? So, yes, I admit it – he is a terrible president.”

Bishop said that even Obama’s achievements were ‘pretty thin’, adding: “The economy is recovering because they are printing shitloads of money. Any moron could do that.

“And so what if he ‘got’ Bin Laden? The head of the CIA comes to him and says ‘we’ve found Bin Laden, shall we kill him?’. What was he gonna do? Say ‘no’?.

“Well done for getting elected the first time – that was impressive – but the second time he was up against a Mormon. I mean, for fuck’s sake.”

Bishop then listed Guantanamo, Bradley Manning and the NSA as other reasons why he should have realised that Obama was ‘basically a twat’.

He added: “Anyway, I’ve learned my lesson. No more adolescent, liberal hero-worshipping for me.

“That said, I do think George Clooney would make a fantastic president.”