Europe Destroyed By Curse Of The Leprechaun
EUROPE lay in tatters last night, ravaged by the strongest leprechaun curse in over a decade.
Little people across the Emerald Isle drank whiskey, smoked pipes and danced jig after jig late into the night in celebration of their successful spell.
The savage curse was placed by Finnan O'Flaherty, a grade six leprechaun from County Kerry.
He said: "Oi be tellin' ye now, by the light of a full Spring moon, ye'll not be ratifyin' a treaty that leads to structural reforms of the Council o' Ministers agricultural sub-committee.
"Oi'll be skippin' down Killarney high street with a daisy in me cap before I'd be allowin' such a passage of affairs."
O'Flaherty said he added extra potency to the evil charm by drinking a special brew of cowslip and dandelions, chased down with a half-pint of Bacardi and coke.
But the issue has led to deep divisions within the leprechaun community with many little people claiming the curse could backfire and destroy the country's bottomless pot of shiny European gold.
Ireland's biggest-selling leprechaun newspaper the Killarney Bucket, last night devoted its front page to a strongly-worded attack on the curse, under the headline, 'O'Flaherty, ya great fuckin' eejit!'.