French economy based entirely on Serge Gainsbourg back catalogue
THERE has been hardly any economic activity in France since the last Serge Gainsbourg album, it has emerged.
As the country’s accounts were scrutinised prior to an EU summit, it emerged that the priapic Galouise-scented troubadour has been keeping the nation financially afloat for two decades since his death.
Econonist Nikki Hollis said: “It’s twenty years since Gainsbourg died, and companies still want to license Je T’Aime for sexy adverts, which brings in decent money.
“Apart from that France has sold a few hatchbacks and some croissants but nothing very meaningful.”
The country’s recent economic woes have put president/lover Francoise Hollande under increasing pressure to find a new sex-obsessed musical genius.
Hollande is organising national auditions for small louche men who write thinly-veiled songs about blow jobs.
He said: “They must be open-minded about drugs, sex – even with incestuous overtones – and not afraid to fuse pop with folk and even reggae.
“Also they should be able to perform, or at least mumble, on national television after drinking three bottles of red wine.”
Nikki Hollis said: “We shouldn’t be too smug as the UK doesn’t make anything except completed ‘feedback forms’ and ‘customer surveys’ which have zero intrinsic value unless you turn them into origami animals.”