Greeks punch gift horse in the face
GREECE was condemned last night for punching a lovely horse right in its face.
Eyewitnesses said the animal, a gift from Europe to the former country, went down like a sack of potatoes.
Tom Logan, from Hatfield, added: “I went up to this Greek bloke and I was like, ‘oi, there’s no need for that – what’s it ever done to you?’.
“And then he got all angry and said that the horse was full of Germans who would wait until everyone was asleep and then creep out of the horse and make sure everyone in Greece had enough money to buy a Volkswagen.
“I said to him, ‘I can understand why you wouldn’t want Germans coming out of a horse – even though, to be honest, you could do with a few here and there – but the problem is you don’t have a horse of any kind, or for that matter, a Volkswagen.
“‘And anyway, don’t go around punching horses, you dick’.
“But then he got even more angry and threatened to set me on fire. At which point I thought, ‘I’m off’.”
Horse vet, Helen Archer, said: “Maybe the Greeks would like a different horse. But if you’d worked hard and saved up and bought a horse for your eight year-old daughter and then she said ‘I don’t like this horse, get me another one’ you’d probably just tell her to fuck off.
“And then where would she be without mummy and daddy to buy horses for her?
“In the fucking gutter, that’s where.”