Hillary Shoves Cigar Into African Student

US SECRETARY of state Hillary Clinton has finally answered the Congolese student who wanted to know her husband's opinions, by shoving a large cigar up his backside.

'Would you like me to say it again?'

Following a question and answer session in Kinshasa, Mrs Clinton went to the home of the student where two secret service bodyguards handcuffed him and bent him over a table.

Removing a nine-inch long Montecristo cigar from her purse, Mrs Clinton said: "Here's what my husband thinks about China's multi-billion dollar loan offer to the Congo."

Inserting it forcefully into the student's rear passage, she continued: "I suppose you could say that I'm 'channeling' my husband – and you – as we speak. How does that feel?"

Mrs Clinton added: "My husband might also say, 'I have not been in the White House for eight and a half years, whereas my strong, intelligent wife is not only the secretary of state but also – by the way – came within a whisker of being the Democratic candidate for President of the United States'. You fucking prick."

Mrs Clinton then smacked the student on the back of the head and left him with his trousers down and approximately half an inch of the cigar still protruding from his quivering buttocks.

The secretary of state said later: "In case anyone else is wondering, my husband's views on diplomacy and international relations tend to be limited to the quality of the local 'poon-tang'.

"I have no doubt that when I get back to Washington he will be desperate to know whether Congolese women are up for it and whether the hotel I was staying at offered hot, pay-per-view African skin-flicks."