HUGE DOME TO BE PLACED OVER MIDDLE EAST

A MASSIVE silver dome should be placed over the Middle East until all the explosions have stopped, the UN secretary general said last night.

Experts say missiles fired from outside the region would just ping off the top

Following predictions the region would soon be rife with nuclear weapons, Ban Ki-Moon unveiled plans for a huge dome approximately 2500 miles across.

The dome would be built in a South Korean shipyard and towed by supertankers to the Indian Ocean. It would then be heaved into place until it covered Lebanon, Israel, Gaza, Syria, and much of Saudi Arabia, Iraq and Iran.

Outlining his new peace plan, Mr Moon said: "Once the dome is in place we expect about 12 to 18 months of constant explosions, followed by silence.

"We will then lift up the edge of the dome and have a peek to see if there are any heavily armed psycopaths still alive.

"If so we'll just chuck in a few sticks of dynamite, slam the dome back down and wait for the big boom."

If the plan is successful Mr Moon said the dome could be melted down and made into napkin holders or placed over the United Kingdom, 'until they learn how to have a drink without beating the shit out of each other'.

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