'I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Turban' Claims Obama
DEMOCRATIC frontrunner Barak Obama has been forced to deny claims he had sex with a turban during a visit to Africa.
Senator Obama was photographed snuggling the traditional Islamic headgear while in Somalia in 2006. In one picture he is even wearing it on his head.
Obama's opponents say the disturbing images prove he is little more than a depraved savage who is planning to annihilate the people of Texas.
The Senator, trembling with anger, said last night: "I want to say one thing to the American people. I did not have sexual relations with that turban.
"The turban helped me with some important research tasks. We became close and at one point I stuffed a cigar up it, but that was it."
Meanwhile the four year-old Somali turban is believed to have been offered a $1 million deal to give its side of the story.
One Washington insider said: "Crazy all-night Koran sessions, knocking down Lego models of the Empire State Building. And lots and lots of freaky sex."
The Senator's wife Michelle said: "I am standing by my husband, not because I love him, not because I believe in him, but because he may be useful when I run for president in 2016."