Man admits breaking into family’s home to do BBC Skype interview

A MAN whose BBC interview was interrupted by a family has admitted breaking into their house to use their broadband.

Professor Robert Kelly, who is wrongly assumed to have his shit together because he is white and wears a suit, actually lives a feral existence on the streets of South Korea where he scavenges for scraps and drinks water squeezed from tree roots.

Kelly said: “I’ve been living the life of a wild man for some time now, mostly I just wear a loincloth but I keep a suit hidden in a bush for when I have occasional BBC interviews on Skype about normal human stuff.

“This was a nice big house so I guessed they would have good, fast internet. It seemed empty so I prised open the bathroom window with my long, claw-like fingernails and located the office.

“You can imagine my surprise when those kids wandered in. You could tell from the terror on their little faces they didn’t know what the hell was going on.

“Sorry if I scared anyone. I meant you no harm.”

Householder Jung-a Kim said: “It was a big shock but he was quite polite, we gave him a glass of orange juice, he nodded his thanks then fled into the fields. He had kind eyes.”