Not Just Indians Dead

THE number of people killed as a result of Indian terrorism who are not Indians rose dramatically last night.

Are you Chinese, Earthling?

Political leaders around the world expressed their horror at the international nature of the latest attacks and vowed to help India track down those responsible for killing non-Indians.

The violence brings the number of actual Indians blown to bits in the last three years to more than 700, but experts stressed this had caused only a small dent in the country's one billion population.

Dr Tom Logan, of the International Association of Analysts, said: "The shock at the number of non-Indians killed once again highlights the point that countries really are just a lot of bollocks.

"When you look at a satellite photo of the Earth it's not as if you can see big red lines all over the place and the word 'India' in huge, 500 mile-high letters."

Dr Logan added: "Let me put it this way – you know how in Star Trek there's no countries, it's all just planets?

"So it's not like the Spanish Klingons are at war with the French Vulcans. It's just Klingons and Vulcans and Romulans and Earthlings.

"Granted the Klingons are at war with everyone else, but it's a start."