Putin to keep Snowden as pet

Russian President Vladimir Putin visit to Forum Marinum harbour in Turku, Finland - 25 Jun 2013

VLADIMIR Putin has agreed to give Edward Snowden asylum if he can parade him around on a lead. 

The Russian president described Snowden as a magnificent specimen of whistleblower, and has offered him a kennel in his menagerie of eagles, tigers and dissidents.

Roy Hobbs, US ambassador to Russia, said: “People who doubt Snowden is scared to return to the US should consider that he feels safer living in the household of Vladimir Putin.

“Beside using Snowden as a symbol of his status and virility, Putin plans to mate him with a wolfhound to create a type of nerd-dog hybrid that uses computers to track wild boar.”