Scotland joining Eurovision would be ‘very difficult for everyone’



SCOTLAND’S bid to join Eurovision would be opposed by countries where people can hear, it has been claimed.

Manuel Barroso, the president of Eurovision, said: “The other members will not stand by while Scotland unleashes some kind of auto-tuned bagpipe shitfest.

“It would, no doubt, be performed by an ageing, kilted, softcore punk. I’m seeing horrible visions of a ‘Scottish Tenpole Tudor’.

“Either that or they’ll offer up Hue and Cry and expect us all to just sit there and take it.”

But Scotland’s first minister, Alex Salmond, dismissed Mr Barroso, insisting he already has a detailed Eurovision plan, entitled The Coercion of Primal Scream.


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