Three Billion Names Added To Forbes Poor List
THE worldwide boom in grinding poverty has led to more than three billion names being added to Forbes magazine's annual 'poor list'.
Around six billion incredibly low net worth individuals are now members of the elite club and for the first time in it's history brown people now out number pink people by just two to one.
A spokesman said: "We are seeing a fundamental shift in the make up of the list with millions of Europeans and Americans finally staking their claim to a life of untold fuck all."
But despite the surge in western poverty, the world's poorest person remains Victor Undungwe of Chad whose net worth has dropped from a bag filled with bits of old toenail to a small pebble and half a dead spider.
He said: "I made the mistake of investing half my toenail bits in RBS and the other half in Woolworths.
"My broker has advised me to put my pebble into defensive stocks such as oil and telecoms and have the spider for lunch."
Meanwhile Forbes 'rich list' of billionaires has shrunk dramatically with more than 300 individuals now forced to admit they are worth just several hundred million dollars.
Tom Booker, founder of investment fund Berkshires Thataway, said: "I lost a lot of money short-selling African toenail bits.
"I don't know how I'm going to cope without being on some list or another. I suppose I'll just drift around the Aegean in my yacht until I start to cheer up."
Meanwhile the UK government is to introduce a new scheme to help poor people buy cars they can then sell to pay for food.