Trump unveils new law of physics allowing him to cross previously undiscovered lines


DONALD Trump has employed theoretical physicists to create infinite lines of taste and decency he can eventually cross.

Presenting the findings as if they were all his own work, Trump said ‘wormholes’ would allow him to cross multiple lines in multiple places, simultaneously.

He added: “I could be in Washington saying something about some bitch TV reporter while at the same time I’m at a rally in Michigan calling Matt Damon a Communist faggot. Win!

“The implications are truly staggering and could mean that by this time next year I may be saying something heinous about disabled people every .002 seconds. So great.”

Meanwhile, Trump has ordered NASA to build an inter-dimensional spaceship so he can visit alternate universes to play golf and swap horrible, disgusting notes with the other Trumps.

NASA engineer Tom Holland said: “We’ll have to utilise the force of his ego to break through the fabric between realities, as well as building a seat strong enough to accommodate his enormous ass.

“Have you seen it? It looks like a sleeping bag full of sausages.”

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