UK to leave whatever it joins after leaving EU

13-05-13

SENIOR Tories have backed a referendum on Britain leaving whatever international set-up it joins after quitting the European Union.

Up yours, Montevideo

Up yours, Montevideo

Education secretary Michael Gove said Britain should have the same relationship with the EU as Norway and Switzerland and then realise that being the same as the Norwegians and the Swiss is a bureaucratic nightmare.

He added: “Once we have freed ourselves from the suffocating relationship with Oslo and Berne I would hope that we would look to North America. And then accept that Americans are nice people but they do things very differently.

“I believe that our post-American future lies with China and India until they inevitably seek to subvert our democracy and ride roughshod over our institutions.

“When will this country realise that it is to Brazil and Uruguay that we must turn? And when will Brazil and Uruguay understand that Britain cannot be shackled by their meddling technocrats?

“Since the middle ages this country has traded freely with the great nations of Africa. Let us rebuild that relationship while politely reminding the Africans that, at any time, we can, will, and ultimately have, walked away?

“Meanwhile, pro-Antarcticans will point to the fact that it’s our 184th largest trading partner while conveniently ignoring the potential for British exports to the Moon. Unfortunately our Moon efforts will be thwarted by the Moon Court.”

Gove said he wants a ‘clear timetable’ setting out Britain’s departure from the UN, the WTO, the International Table Tennis Federation and Nato.

He said: “Once we’ve left the EU the whole thing should take about 20 minutes.”

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