YOUR friend remembers that you used to have long greasy hair and listened to Ned’s Atomic Dustbin and has the photos to prove it.
Longtime pal Tom Booker is not buying how you appear to have matured into a functional member of society because he can still recall how you proudly did nothing during your adolescence while wearing awful army surplus clothing.
He said: “Responsible office job, lovely wife and kids, five-star Uber rider rating? You’re not fooling me. I remember the real you.
“Cast your mind back to December 1989. A little four-piece called The Wonder Stuff were playing at the Aston Villa Leisure Centre. We were right there with tickets purchased with our dole money, or have you forgotten your roots?
“It was pre-grunge. Before all the Britpop bullshit. You were convinced that the Stourbridge sound was going to change music forever. Now look at you. I bet you don’t even remember Scum Pups.
“How can a man who said God Fodder was the best album of 1991 now have a sensible haircut and contents insurance? Were you faking it all along or did the pressures of adult life make you sell out?”
He added: “You used to be a grebo, man, but now you’re just a townie.”
