Being a bellend 'is key to Tinder success'

15-02-17

A POPULAR Tinder user has shared advice on being a predictable bellend who just says things other people want to hear.

Sales executive Martin Bishop gets many approving ‘swipe-rights’ on the dating service thanks to crafting a blandly hip persona that large numbers of morons like.

Bishop said: “It’s not just about having a picture that doesn’t really look like you, it’s also important to like things that are trendy in an obvious way, so I love sushi.

“You also need an aspirational hobby on your profile. It’s fine to lie, and I’m actually starting to believe I’m getting a helicopter licence.

“It’s also good to describe yourself as a very spiritual person. It’s the kind of vague bullshit that makes you sound deep without having to think about anything.

“Don’t forget some great humour like ‘Love partying, hate sprouts!’. And the gym. Mention the gym.

“Everyone loves the gym.”

Tinder user Emma Bradford said: “Martin thinks horses are very spiritual creatures and hates sprouts. I must have sex with him.”

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