Woman who ‘doesn’t do gossip’ will never be invited for drinks again

A WOMAN who told her friends she ‘doesn’t do gossip’ will not be invited for drinks again, it has been confirmed.

Emma Bradford, a self-labelled ‘thinker’ who ‘doesn’t want to spread negativity’ and believes ‘the universe gives back what you put in’ will now be excluded from Wednesday night cocktails at Becky Smith’s house.

Smith said: “I was just telling the gang about how Sarah from work is getting a divorce because she and her husband were having an affair with the same woman and it’s turned into a vicious custody battle for the new lover, when Emma piped up.

“She did that thing where she sanctimoniously half closes her eyes and says ‘can we change the subject, please?’ She could have changed the subject by saying something interesting, but she obviously wanted to make us all feel like arseholes.”

Bradford said: “I’m just thinking about how poor Sarah would feel if she overheard us talking about her like this. It’s not very nice, is it?”

Bradford was then handed her coat and shown the door.

It is understood Bradford will be the main topic of gossip at the next cocktail night, regardless of what the universe thinks.