Relationships

ARE you at a date’s home and trying to work out if they’re completely mental? A quick look at the contents of their fridge will give you the definitive answer.

A MAN who has decided his dating profile picture is out of date is replacing it with one from five years ago rather than 10.

A MAN wrongly believes a manky bunch of supermarket flowers will lead to a thrilling sexual experience.

YES, it’s that time of year when society decides you should be unrealistically loved-up. So how is Valentine’s Day not living up to expectations for you?

IF YOU’RE currently in a relationship, you have probably already resigned yourself to a financial outlay of between £5 and £48.99 on cards, gifts and a possible expensive takeaway.

A BOYFRIEND who ‘cannot read minds’ can not comprehend verbal or written instructions either, his partner has confirmed.

A COUPLE on date night cannot wait to finish their meal, get home, go straight up to the bedroom and have a good, long phone browsing session.

A ROMANTIC comedy-style romp in the snow has made a couple realise it is not romantic and their partner is a bastard.

A MAN has voted for ‘alternative arrangements’ to allow him to continue having sex with his wife’s best friend without his wife finding out. 

ARE you new to the dating scene? Here are some freakish dating behaviours you’ll encounter in our weird modern world.