Rev Falwell Says Heaven 'Too Gay'
AMERICAN televangelist Jerry Falwell has launched an outspoken attack on Heaven after arriving there this week describing God’s Kingdom as looking like a ‘puff’s paradise’.
So alarmed is the Rev Falwell by the amount of white drapes, scatter cushions and gold leaf on display in Paradise that he has told friends he suspects God may be gay or, worse, an interior designer.
Jeremiah Johnson, a close confidant of the deceased preacher, said the Rev Falwell was “going apeshit” and had accused God of undoing all the good work he had performed on Earth.
He said: “The Reverend has devoted his life to fighting gayness in all its forms, particularly the importation of homosexual design flourishes into the normal family home.
“He had fully expected Heaven to be a model of the restrained heterosexual style he has championed instead of which it is decked out like some cross-dressing tart’s boudoir.”
A spokesman for God dismissed the Reverend’s criticisms of the Holy Father’s taste in interiors and said Falwell should “lighten up”.
He said God was looking to create a soft and unstructured look suitable for souls to relax in for the long periods they would have to spend in Heaven.
“The last thing he wants is people stuck in rows of hard-backed pews with their arses going numb after half an hour,” he said.