92% Of English People Think All Scottish People Know Each Other

01-08-07

ALL Scottish people are either related or went to school together, according to the vast majority of English people.

No-one ever admits to knowing Lorraine Kelly

A survey for the Joseph Rowntree Institute found that when confronted with a new Scottish person most English people will automatically ask if they know the last Scottish person they met.

Institute spokesman Wayne Hayes, said: "A typical scenario will be at a party when a Scottish person is introduced.

"Within moments he or she will be asked if they know 'wee Tommy from the glen, used to take us fishing, lovely chap, quite a temper, four foot six, smelled of poo, oh you must know him.'"

According to the survey, nine out of 10 English people will assume that the Scottish person knows Sean Connery, Lulu and Kenny Dalglish.

Hayes added: "Another typical comment would be, 'you sound just like Alan Hansen, I suppose you must have been in jail together at some point.'"

But the most common scenario is when a Scottish person joins a company where another Scottish person already works.

Hayes said: "We've documented several cases of eyebrows being raised because the male and female Scottish employees did not take their holidays at the same time. Everyone simply assumed they were married."

  • Share:

  •  

    Bring-it-inside